Nearly finished with this slavery!

Market went very well and I am there for at least the next 5 weeks. Turns out last weekend is the traditional worst weekend of the year. People get paid early for xmas and then have to wait 6 weeks etc. Tho I had not considered that since I get paid mid month anyway and so does M. Anyway had best takings ever and if thats the worst weekend of the year I should be able to make this work. Ginger and Lime soap looking good but have yet to pH test etc and will expect it to be ready sometime mid February. Intending to make a citrous - not sure yet but Lime, lemon, orange and possibly grapefruit but may miss out grapefruit since apparently grapefuit essential oil is unreliable quality wise from one year to the next. Also have yet to make this francinsence & myhrr soap I have been planning for ages. Having time to make new as well as make stock is proving difficult! Thats as well as experimenting with lip balms. They are finally sorted and now also have fizzy bath melts tho doesnt look to hopeful with selling them. Or there was no interest last week. That could be a presentation thing tho and this weeks are like little cakes in petit four cases. Last weeks were ( and still are since didnt sell any!) half hearts. I am also doing heart shaped bath bombs which have turned out to be a complete nightmare to make but seem to sell really fast. So I have a problem here. I originally intended just to do these for valentines and mothers day but if they really are best sellers maybe they will end up having to stay. I am only doing 4 flavours of them - all with flowers. We will see. Maybe they are selling cos folk are starting to think of valentines day. I had a go at solid perfumes this morning. Nowadays I get up at 5am and do a few hours before going to boring day job ( 2 weeks till give in notice now so only 6 weeks left there!). Means I get to do some experiments. If I try to do at night have serious problems with making dinner etc and since M does shifts it simply doesnt work! Causes arguements and have to say he does have a point when he has to eat dinner at 8pm and go to work at 9pm so have had to stop doing that ( dogs dont like having to wait for dinner either!) and so I now do early in mornings instead. Anyway back to solid perfume experiment - by the smell of it there is no perfume left. Must have volatilized when putting into the hot oils/waxes. What a pain this is. have to work out how to get perfume into the hot wax/oils before they cool and go solid. I need to do aromatherapy by the looks of it as well to learn how to combine fragrance types and also need to do lots of experiments with perfumes. Well should be fun but its going to cost in both time and essential oils by the looks of it. I also want to have a go at making vegan milk bathsalts or bombs. No idea if this is going to work but nothing ventured etc...........have never seen anyone else making these either. Must do an internet search infact. Other than that I have actually blogged, honest but cant publish it yet cos of possible inductrial tribunal and it might end up stopping me from winning. They decided not to pay me. That was on Tuesday and gave me 5 days to apeal. I am going to but they obviously think because I have not yet gone back that I am not going to. They dont know I have a very interesting document in my possession. Will wait and see what the union tell me to do tho. Anyway market tomorrow and I am really believing now that this is really going to work. If it does then its a thank you to Sandy Maine for her book about making your own natural products bodycare business http://http://www.amazon.co.uk/Creating-Herbal-Bodycare-Business-naturally/dp/1580170943/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1233308728&sr=1-1 cos thats what inspired me to go from a hobbyist cosmetics maker to a manufacturer albeit a small one.

If you want to do this you can do much worse than reading this. It doesnt give yopu business plans, it doesnt give you help in anyway really it just gives you inspiration and the belief to have a go and make it happen!

Well I think this weekend I will find out if I can survive doing this and if I can then slavery for me is about to end.............................................

inspiring words

I found the most amazing blog today. So Inspiring for someone about to chuck everything in the wind and take the ultimate risk.

http://www.todayisthatday.com/blog/when-one-door-closes-another-door-opens

Or is it really the ultimate risk? Date now is set ( still unofficial but this will be it even lovely other half in agreement) that on 16th March 2009 I will really really become self employed. For better or worse, success or fai------. Not even going to write the word since it aint going to happen.

You make your own fate, make your own future and you are who ever you want to be!

And now I will be me. Possibly for the first time since I went to Uni to get away from long term unemployment and no future. Well I have no future in my dead end job. Friends will say "ah but you always do this" and yes I do. I quit jobs whenever it takes my fancy. I temp, I get "freedom" whatever that really means. In the end tho I still go back to slogging it out for an employer. Alright a different employer but after awhile the new wonderful job goes sour - or maybe I just come to my senses and see what my life really is like and then I start the whole routine again. I hate work, hate my job, apply for loads of new jobs in all different fields etc etc etc. Well this time its going to be different cos I AM IN CONTROL! maybe I will F--l. But I intend to give it my best shot and yey! I will be self employed. My own boss. All my life I dreamed I would do this. Dreamed it could be done but NEVER have I HAD THE COURAGE NEEDED to make it really happen. Strangely I had the courage in 1994 to go and do GCSE maths and a pre-access course and just go for it and apply for Applied Chemistry at uni! Me who left school with nothing and was considered a "thick kid". And when I did it it was a game. I never believed I could do it. My friends encouraged me and it changed my life. Then having achieved this life changing monumental thing I gave up and took rubbish dead end jobs - drifting from one to another for the last 10 years - and believe me when you have been a homeless unemployed for 10 years since you left school and considered yourself the lowest of the low (and thats not even considering what the general folk on the street thought of the likes of me and my street life compatriots!) then this was BIG! Now its time it seems to do it again but this time I wont have a grants system or student loan to help. Its just going to be me, my products and my (hopefully) buying public. I cant wait. Infact has to be said it is 10 years since I finished my degree ( June 1999) so it must be a 10 year thingy or approximate where big decisions just seem to occur and I go for it and take risks. Well maybe. The only risk last time was my fear of failure and everyone I new taking the piss. It mattered tho and it felt important to me to pass and pass well. I will have to try and be aware in 10 years time what I am doing. Maybe I will get to retire then. Who knows. I doubt that tho cos I dont expect to make a million but if I can just survive, pay the mortgage, pay the bills and eat that will be just fine. Anyway this really is going to be it. Giving Notice in to employer of 16th February and believe its 4 weeks. They might even pay me to go earlier - well you have to hope. Dont expect that will really happen. I actually have my Grievance meeting next tuesday so we will see. No idea how that will go but the Union has confirmed if I leave or move jobs they will continue to fight for me whatever so here goes. They owe me £800, they owe me a contract and they will hopefully have to pay up! Either way I have absolutely zero to lose since the T&G will sort it. They will end up paying one way or another even if not to me so thats fine.

Oh - soap. I made 480 mini bars on saturday/sunday ( once they cure of course) so should be fine for the BVF now and have to let Charlie know so he can include it in the advertising. So if you fancy visiting Brackencraft on 21st March at BVF and spending on anything you will get a free mini bar of soap. I shall try to make more this weekend but am waiting on a supplier now. Got Rugby market this saturday so thats good. Now it will begin....................

Today at last is friday.

Well first half of week was horrible. Possibly just being back at work but really I think its down to bosses being paranoid. I am no longer allowed to be alone in the office at lunchtime apparently. No idea what they think I am going to do. Sabotage something??? Stupid people. I am going to take em thru greivance proceedures and possibly an employment tribunal. Why would I ruin my chances and sabotage something. I dont need to, I will get my wages and maybe even compensation for having had to go without them for weeks or by then even years so why would I do something illegal. I dont need to. I just need to wait and let the law take its course. Ofcourse I may lose but from my point of view it wont cost me anything and I might just win so I have nothing to lose. And it WILL cost them so even if I get nothing they will still have to pay so I win either way! I certainly wouldnt do anything to damage anything to do with their company. They really must think I am dumb. I know I am blonde but truly its dye in my hair and my brain does really work! Well Bosses now at Arab Lab so I am being watched by their side kicks now taking turns as to who misses their lunch while I eat mine. Never experienced anywhere like this place. Have applied for 2 jobs and am now going to do Rugby Market in 2 weeks and a Farmers market next week and have Brighton Vegan Fair looming at end of March. Its being advertised as the second largest Vegan event on the planet!! Honestly what was I thinking to go for something so big? I suppose nothing ventured etc but really I have hardly any time to make soap for markets let alone for a huge event like this promises to be. I probably should have gone for it next year but no, not me. Straight in at the deep end. Course it might just be the making of the company. I have a suspician we will just look fooliosh tho. Up there with all these long established huge companies. What was I thinking of!. I suppose it may be a good thing tho. The Yaoh team seem very nice and who knows this time next year I may be saying how it made the company viable. Right now its very scary cos I dont know how I will find time to make enough stock. They have said I need some sort of promotion too. I could buy badges but dont have the cash ( got some quotes yesterday!) so I see lots of late nights coming up while I get some soap stocks made to give away nuggets of soap to anyone who buys something! Considering it takes 5-8 weeks to cure the soap I have lots of work coming up in next 3 weeks to get all this ready on time so forgive me if this blog goes dormant for a while. I will be spending every spare minute making soap - or washing the equipment after making one batch so I can make the next. Boy do I need a dishwasher! Might have to invest in a second set of soap making kit too just to help me on my way! Other than that I should possibly check out wholesale quantities of vegan lollies - anyone got any offers out there???????

Finally here is my pixie jumper!

Firstly, ignore the messy kitchen. We are tiling right now and replacing architraves and stuff and everything is in piles at the end of the kitchen where I stupidly got lovely other half to take these photos. Honestly my house is not usually this messy!

I got called Santas little helper when I wore this to market just before xmas. Personally I love it and its very warm. I have never before knitted a matching hat and jumper either so this really is a first.

I started this 8 years ago and gave up but managed to knit loads when was off work sick a few weeks ago - daytime TV is very rubbish. Anyway here finally is the finished garment. No pattern used for either jumper or hat so all my own design. The sleeves are a bit long but other than that its great.

back at work

Well new year came and went. I had high hopes but M being very dismal so I am not too sure what this year will bring. Mind you no one ever is. I suppose he is right too since the car industry ( where he works) has been doomed for decades really. I was sort of hopeful to get my company properly up and runnning but every step of the way is a problem to overcome. Still I read once that the original meaning of suffering was simply under going. Have to try and look at life like that. I should be feeling hopeful and looking forward to the new wonderful hopeful year. I was reading Tatty`s blog and its very cheerful. I went back to work yesterday since last thing before xmas I asked employer when we went back and they said 2nd. Got there with 2 others who overheard and we were all locked out. Turns out bosses told me but told most others it was 5th. Its interesting since I had just raised 2 formal grievances. I reckon they didnt really intend for us to go back on 2nd but just wanted me to have to wait outside in the cold for ages. Maybe thats me being silly but most of the company didnt go back only the 3 of us who were there last thing when I asked about it. It did backfire tho since bosses had to come in. Everywhere else onsite was shut even the cafe so they had to go out for lunch. I already had arranged to have lunch with M so no problem for me. They then locked me out which is unusual ( tho as I said site was empty so maybe not unreasonable) and took over and hour for lunch. The atmosphere is terrible. I have no regrets tho. We dont live in the dark ages and employers like these shouls learn they have to work inside UK law. I have never worked anywhere so unprofessional in my entire working life and never anywhere where they believe being the boss they control your every move. Cant wait to leave but now I have to see this griveance thru to the bitter end. Doesnt really matter if I win or lose so long as they get the fact they must treat people properly. Well my council training came in handy since I seem better able to work under adverse conditions than my bosses. One is even refusing to speak to me and when making coffee actually ignored me and missed me out. Got her back later by offering her a drink so she had to speak to me but its a crazy way to behave at work. No idea how long this will be going on for but will get to speak to the union rep on monday and hopefully I will get it all sorted so I can either leave or stay and they will finally have to work inside UK law. Atleast I should get a contract which will outline my rubbish job! I suspect life will be intolerable anyway after this and that I shall eventually either find a new job or just go fulltime self employed but I am obviously worried about doing this since it doesnt look like it will pay enough. Well new year and new life for me it seems. They think where I work they have complete power over their employees cos they provide lunch ( which I dont want really) and they take everyone to China to the parent company. Trouble is I dont really want to go. I know thats crazy etc and I would love to go with M but it wont be a holiday cos from when you wake to you sleep you are with the company and they dont even consider vegetarians so if I do end up having to go I will be expected to eat chicken feet etc. This is not just a fear either but reality so really I just prefer not to go there. It does also mean they dont have the power over me that they assume!