fly away free

My Walter flew away today. This is him before he flew
At 11.45 he was there at 12.00 hrs he was gone. I tried to let him (or may be her )out yesterday but he wouldnt leave. I left the door open. The neighbours if they saw me will think me insane when I am trying to fly thru the door to show Walter how to get out of the aviary. I flapped my wings and ran thru............he just preened his feathers........as he likes to!
Well I do not know what made him finally go but he has. He needed to but I have cried all day. I should as a friend said be celebrating but I have been mourning. Walter is gone. But Walter ( who I truly believe is actually female but still will always be Walter) is free. Free to fly. I realised at about 2pm there was a pigeon doing circles over the two rows of houses- ours and those behind us. I do not know if that was Walter but certainly I have not seen a pigeon do it before. M says its what homing pigeons do. He roosted 2 doors away on a tree



I am 99% certain it is he. I have now joined a twitchers site( bird watchers) and intend to buy a better camera just to find out if he is still out there- a new hobby for a new year then. I need to be able to see his ring round his left leg - its green. He is free tho. free like any human on this planet can never be.Free like my dogs cannot be, like my cockateil Ben can never be.truely truely free just to be............ Truly free. I can never be truly free. No number, no national security, no birth cert, nothing. As I understand it the only country like that right now is somalia and very few folk would chose to move there but true freedom is something everyone over the whole planet lacks. Even dogs and cats are chipped. We all are known by numbers. " If you dont wannna be a number dont give them your name" - Crass about 1978. Well we are none of us free and Walter for better or worse is! Yeah!

Only wild animals are free.
At 3.30pm put my chickens to bed. I went to check just on the ofchance he had come home to roost- well no he hadnt but another pigeon was in his aviary. I left quickly thinking it would soon leave. Half an hour or so later I went back and it was still there and couldnt find its way out. Eventually by putting food in the doorway I got it to leave but it crashed and couldnt fly. I caught hIm easly and took him up the garden and showed to M who was not amused. Anyway I checked his ( I am sure twas a he) feet and both gripped me. His wings seemed to work but I think one is slightly damaged but will get better- anyway eventually having checked him out all over put on floor and waited. He took lots of steps and flew away. Now tho will I turn into pigeon woman of Kilsby? A bit like a bag woman but with pigeons? Well we will have to see. Walter was on the tree 2 doors away. Walter is free...........

more work and work and work but maybe its worth all the stress

Well its been a long long while and I have been sooooooooo busy. Doesnt matter. BVF is this week. A week today infact. Feels like time to get round to blogging anyway. With a small bit of luck and some real work the website ( the REAL website) will go live tomorrow tho have yet to suss out paypal!!! Also to take some reasonable photos ( am so bad at photography!) Still the learning curve is every increasing. Maybe that means I will earn loadsa money! I wish!!. Well yesterday turned up at Hinkley market to find there was no stall. Thats after making £15 loss 2 weeks on the trot at Morton in the Marsh ( the apparent dead cert winner!!! And I am so lucky to get a stall there!!!!!!) Not for me and my product it would seem. So thats the end of that. I intend to try Coventry.............send em(back) to Coventry! Well no doubt about it every time I manage to leave the place I seem to end up back again. Well whatever. They have a Lush and a Body Shop and my products sort of encompass both - on top of that its reputedly the home to animal rights and I have no problem with that and all my products are now Vegan Soc registered- well all except the lip balms -due to me not sending all stuff in - an error but I do expect they will be registered very soon so no problems. So why not. Also the fact you know half approx of the city could actually go in your favour couldnt it?? Either way it has to be a big city and why not old Cov! Almost my hometown - well have spent more than half my life there tho not actually from there at all. My mum is tho so maybe thats it. Anyway would rather try Cov than Leicester so Cov it will be. If possible friday but I have also asked for a place at the new sunday market at the Ricoh Arena which just might be good. I dont do a Sunday anywhere else tho the fact its indoors will be a downer in summer but might turn out great in winter I spose! Who knows maybe its better to work where people DO know your name. Anyway I give in. Time to try the home town. Last week was a record, I took over £130 in Rugby. Today tho down to £40 and to be fair the stall nearly took off several times. Other traders lent me clips and sheets to try and stop the wind. Theyre a great bunch of folk tho. Beats office politics. Oh and the company I used to work for ( yesterday time was up!!!)have said they will pay me what they owe ------still we have to see the money yet----I will keep you posted! I sort of wish they didnt give in and that they would go to tribunal cos theres so much they will get away with if they dont!Tho still I could lose but I would love to see them there..............am I just evil?? Maybe! Or maybe when you have very little to lose morals are more important than money! Right now I feel so happy to be truly free for the first time in my entire life since I went to Uni to escape the (freedom!) of unemployment!. But I am making no money and this cannot continue unless I start to make enough to live on. That unfortunately is just life! Anyway onward to Brighton Vegan Fayre to make the company name and to maybe oneday be a real self employed person who actually makes enough money to pay the bills. Until next Saturday then have to sign off since will be making stock, Getting website online ( I truly hope and even pray!) and everything else I have to do to make it happen. Wishing all the world that all their dreams come true..................Oh and all my mates I really have made some new soap and will send as soon as can get it sorted. Its all ready and seems very promising its just a bit mad right now.....................And theres 4 new not three! All the best to everyone who may come accross this.............

Nearly finished with this slavery!

Market went very well and I am there for at least the next 5 weeks. Turns out last weekend is the traditional worst weekend of the year. People get paid early for xmas and then have to wait 6 weeks etc. Tho I had not considered that since I get paid mid month anyway and so does M. Anyway had best takings ever and if thats the worst weekend of the year I should be able to make this work. Ginger and Lime soap looking good but have yet to pH test etc and will expect it to be ready sometime mid February. Intending to make a citrous - not sure yet but Lime, lemon, orange and possibly grapefruit but may miss out grapefruit since apparently grapefuit essential oil is unreliable quality wise from one year to the next. Also have yet to make this francinsence & myhrr soap I have been planning for ages. Having time to make new as well as make stock is proving difficult! Thats as well as experimenting with lip balms. They are finally sorted and now also have fizzy bath melts tho doesnt look to hopeful with selling them. Or there was no interest last week. That could be a presentation thing tho and this weeks are like little cakes in petit four cases. Last weeks were ( and still are since didnt sell any!) half hearts. I am also doing heart shaped bath bombs which have turned out to be a complete nightmare to make but seem to sell really fast. So I have a problem here. I originally intended just to do these for valentines and mothers day but if they really are best sellers maybe they will end up having to stay. I am only doing 4 flavours of them - all with flowers. We will see. Maybe they are selling cos folk are starting to think of valentines day. I had a go at solid perfumes this morning. Nowadays I get up at 5am and do a few hours before going to boring day job ( 2 weeks till give in notice now so only 6 weeks left there!). Means I get to do some experiments. If I try to do at night have serious problems with making dinner etc and since M does shifts it simply doesnt work! Causes arguements and have to say he does have a point when he has to eat dinner at 8pm and go to work at 9pm so have had to stop doing that ( dogs dont like having to wait for dinner either!) and so I now do early in mornings instead. Anyway back to solid perfume experiment - by the smell of it there is no perfume left. Must have volatilized when putting into the hot oils/waxes. What a pain this is. have to work out how to get perfume into the hot wax/oils before they cool and go solid. I need to do aromatherapy by the looks of it as well to learn how to combine fragrance types and also need to do lots of experiments with perfumes. Well should be fun but its going to cost in both time and essential oils by the looks of it. I also want to have a go at making vegan milk bathsalts or bombs. No idea if this is going to work but nothing ventured etc...........have never seen anyone else making these either. Must do an internet search infact. Other than that I have actually blogged, honest but cant publish it yet cos of possible inductrial tribunal and it might end up stopping me from winning. They decided not to pay me. That was on Tuesday and gave me 5 days to apeal. I am going to but they obviously think because I have not yet gone back that I am not going to. They dont know I have a very interesting document in my possession. Will wait and see what the union tell me to do tho. Anyway market tomorrow and I am really believing now that this is really going to work. If it does then its a thank you to Sandy Maine for her book about making your own natural products bodycare business http://http://www.amazon.co.uk/Creating-Herbal-Bodycare-Business-naturally/dp/1580170943/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1233308728&sr=1-1 cos thats what inspired me to go from a hobbyist cosmetics maker to a manufacturer albeit a small one.

If you want to do this you can do much worse than reading this. It doesnt give yopu business plans, it doesnt give you help in anyway really it just gives you inspiration and the belief to have a go and make it happen!

Well I think this weekend I will find out if I can survive doing this and if I can then slavery for me is about to end.............................................

inspiring words

I found the most amazing blog today. So Inspiring for someone about to chuck everything in the wind and take the ultimate risk.

http://www.todayisthatday.com/blog/when-one-door-closes-another-door-opens

Or is it really the ultimate risk? Date now is set ( still unofficial but this will be it even lovely other half in agreement) that on 16th March 2009 I will really really become self employed. For better or worse, success or fai------. Not even going to write the word since it aint going to happen.

You make your own fate, make your own future and you are who ever you want to be!

And now I will be me. Possibly for the first time since I went to Uni to get away from long term unemployment and no future. Well I have no future in my dead end job. Friends will say "ah but you always do this" and yes I do. I quit jobs whenever it takes my fancy. I temp, I get "freedom" whatever that really means. In the end tho I still go back to slogging it out for an employer. Alright a different employer but after awhile the new wonderful job goes sour - or maybe I just come to my senses and see what my life really is like and then I start the whole routine again. I hate work, hate my job, apply for loads of new jobs in all different fields etc etc etc. Well this time its going to be different cos I AM IN CONTROL! maybe I will F--l. But I intend to give it my best shot and yey! I will be self employed. My own boss. All my life I dreamed I would do this. Dreamed it could be done but NEVER have I HAD THE COURAGE NEEDED to make it really happen. Strangely I had the courage in 1994 to go and do GCSE maths and a pre-access course and just go for it and apply for Applied Chemistry at uni! Me who left school with nothing and was considered a "thick kid". And when I did it it was a game. I never believed I could do it. My friends encouraged me and it changed my life. Then having achieved this life changing monumental thing I gave up and took rubbish dead end jobs - drifting from one to another for the last 10 years - and believe me when you have been a homeless unemployed for 10 years since you left school and considered yourself the lowest of the low (and thats not even considering what the general folk on the street thought of the likes of me and my street life compatriots!) then this was BIG! Now its time it seems to do it again but this time I wont have a grants system or student loan to help. Its just going to be me, my products and my (hopefully) buying public. I cant wait. Infact has to be said it is 10 years since I finished my degree ( June 1999) so it must be a 10 year thingy or approximate where big decisions just seem to occur and I go for it and take risks. Well maybe. The only risk last time was my fear of failure and everyone I new taking the piss. It mattered tho and it felt important to me to pass and pass well. I will have to try and be aware in 10 years time what I am doing. Maybe I will get to retire then. Who knows. I doubt that tho cos I dont expect to make a million but if I can just survive, pay the mortgage, pay the bills and eat that will be just fine. Anyway this really is going to be it. Giving Notice in to employer of 16th February and believe its 4 weeks. They might even pay me to go earlier - well you have to hope. Dont expect that will really happen. I actually have my Grievance meeting next tuesday so we will see. No idea how that will go but the Union has confirmed if I leave or move jobs they will continue to fight for me whatever so here goes. They owe me £800, they owe me a contract and they will hopefully have to pay up! Either way I have absolutely zero to lose since the T&G will sort it. They will end up paying one way or another even if not to me so thats fine.

Oh - soap. I made 480 mini bars on saturday/sunday ( once they cure of course) so should be fine for the BVF now and have to let Charlie know so he can include it in the advertising. So if you fancy visiting Brackencraft on 21st March at BVF and spending on anything you will get a free mini bar of soap. I shall try to make more this weekend but am waiting on a supplier now. Got Rugby market this saturday so thats good. Now it will begin....................