life mates and work

Why does everything have to be so much hassle? whatever I do it always seems to be more difficult than it should be. Life right now is just hard but i still want to stay self-employed and free cos its the best decision I ever made. There is no way on earth its the easy option though. There always seems to be a problem and as I work through one up comes another just as bad if not even worse. I was very happy writing freelance for example but now do not know what is happeneing since the original publisher has sold the magazine on to a new publisher so I may now be out of a writing job. Ofcourse freelance is never a definite when oit comes to earning money since they may not like what you write one month etc but I was feeling hopeful. I have 3 articles in this months magazine and although it still will not alone pay the bills it certainly helps and I did feel I was getting somewhere. Now I have no idea what is going to happen. It does seem the new publishers ae very experienced with craft mags tho so just maybe it will be a good one for me but so far I really know nothing. I need to do the books. I should be doing them right now but just cannot get motivated to do it. I can get other things doen and have made candles today, wrapped soap, sorted serveral orers and prob;lems with a safety assessment but I just hate doing the books. I need to go back to a book I read which was the cause of my whole freedom and self employment or the book coupled with finding Ran Prieur on the web was what began the whole thing! Check out ranprieur.com to see what inspired me and the book is "how to make all your dreams come true" by Mark Forster. Thats what really did it. It was so inspiring I ultimatly quit my job and did just that. Doesnt make life easier tho! I got given this book at an event run by my then employer on well being and there was a book crossing stall and the man there gave me several books. I passed the rest on but am still using this - the most unlikely of all the books he gave me. I never normall go in for this kind of book but really it does work. Or maybe I was just so desperate for change I would try anything. Interestingly I found the original sketch book I wrote my first attempts at his quizzes in the other day - dated september2006 and I have actually achieved many of my wildest dreams. I wanted to be self employed but had no idea what I wanted to do. I wanted to live in the country and I do. I had no idea then that I would be able to do this and didnt have a clue where to find a country house. I didnt know if we could sell the current house, I didnt know what I could possibly do to become self employed but now I am. I wanted to be a writer - now I have been published. It was slightly shocking finding out I have actually managed to achieve some of the crazy things I wrote down then since i really never believed any of it. Now I need to go back and do it all again so i can make my life better and get more stuff actually done. Apparently this is called manifesting. maybe its really just about sorting out in your head what you really want in life so that when you do have an oportunity to grasp it rather tha just sit there dreaming. I dont know. i am guessing but one thing I am sure of this book really changed my world so i am going to go and read it again and do al those slightly silly excersies and maybe I will cary on having good luck and getting my wildest dreams. One ampbition should really be - to blog more often and consistently! I will add to my first list............